


We Are Not Responsible For What We Have Come To Be

by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Hostage Situation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Moral Ambiguity, Mutilation, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Push and push and eventually we'll push back, The Hamatos are BAMFs, from the outside looking in, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:55:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27265318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_world_of_beautiful_monsters/pseuds/This_world_of_beautiful_monsters
Summary: When someone you love is in danger, who far will you go to save their life? How far will you go to protect yourselves from more pain?The Hamato Clan has fought and bled and suffered and lost, but there are still people out there who want to hurt them. They will never lose another family member again, no matter what it takes.No matter who gets caught in the crossfire.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by a line from the 2013 film Stoker.
> 
> "We are not responsible for what we have come to be, only when we accept this do we become free."

Katie's heading back from the library when the monsters come for her.

She's not stupid; she knows to walk quickly and keep to the lights. Her dorm building isn't that far away from the library and there's no one in sight. Later, she'll rack her brain and be unable to figure out where they were hiding.

As she walks, she finds herself thinking about her latest conversation with her parents. They had both seemed stressed and jumpy, with her father passing it off as "issues" at work.

Her mom had even suggested that she had come home for the weekend, and Katie had said that she would think about it. It was the politest decline she could have made. Working in the government had made them both naturally paranoid; it wasn't the first time they had freaked out over nothing.

She's approaching the dorm's steps when "nothing" steps out of the shadows, moving too fast for her to scream. She's barely registered the breath of air on her back before _something_ hits her in the neck, sending her spiraling into darkness.

Katie sits up with a groan, rubbing the side of her neck. For a moment, she's not quite sure what happened; did she trip coming home? Did she bump into something?

Then her breath catches because she _remembers_ and this is not her room and standing over her bed is--is--is--

"Hello."

The world stutters, because there's no way in hell that anything can sound so young and human while looking like, like _that_.

It's--he's--bright green, like the Martians in a shitty B-movie. His muscular limbs are human enough, but the shape of his head, the weird piece of _armor_ that seems to make up his chest, and what looks like a fucking _shell_ on his back all scream _turtle._ Weird stubby fingers protrude from his hands, and his blue eyes...there is something so very old and _dangerous_ about them that makes her look away.

He's naked, practically, wearing a bizarre array of straps and wrappings that a hysterical part of her brain wants to term bondage gear, even though it all manages to look weirdly practical. There's a blue mask wrapped around his face, with a tail vanishing behind each muscular shoulders. His bare skin is covered in scars, with a particularly heavy tangle over one knee. He doesn't have any visible genitals, a fact she can't bring herself to think too hard about.

And he's wearing _swords_ , two large swords that have been strapped to his back--shell? Katie's never seen swords in real life, but an instinctive part of her recognize that these aren't plastic fakes, these are _real_. Real and impossible and deadly, just like the rest of him.

For a minute all she can do is gawp, trying to figure out in the fresh hell she's looking at. Then she realizes that she's sitting on a bed in a room--a cell--and this _creature_ is blocking the door. Panic shoots through her, and she presses her back against the wall.

The turtle-man raises his hands, and when he speaks his voice is low, soothing, and sounds so much like one of her classmates it's terrifying. "We mean you no harm, Miss Westwood," he tells her. "If you're experiencing any discomfort, it comes from the nerve pinch I used to disable you. Your neck will be back to normal in a half hour or so."

 _Nerve pinch?_ What the fuck is this, _Space Heroes_? Katie finally finds her voice, but all she can manage are jagged syllables. "What--how--where--?"

He puts his hands behind his back, shuffling his feet with a suddenly nervous expression. "We, um," he clears his throat, and his voice hardens. "One of my siblings has been abducted by a branch of the military in which your parents are extremely prominent."

Katie blinks, letting out an undignified "Huh?" before she can stop herself. Her parents kidnapped someone? Does this creature count as a someone? Holy shit, are there _more_ of him?

He keeps talking, rattling off the words in a style that sounds suspiciously like a prepared speech. "We expect his safe return shortly, and you will be promptly returned to your home afterwards. Me or one of my clansmen will be guarding you," he gestures to the door, "although we will do our utmost to ensure your privacy during this difficult time. If you need to use the bathroom, knock and we will take you there immediately. We will do our best to take you on a regular meal schedule."

"What--whu--" This isn't happening. This is just a weird fever dream or someone spiked her coffee, because no way in _hell_ is she sitting here while lays out the details of her motherfucking _hostage situation_ like he's discussing the amenities at a goddamn _hotel_.

She can't breathe. Oh god, she can't _breathe_. She hunches in herself, gasping and hugging her chest.

"Miss Westwood?" She almost falls off the bed, because now there's _another_ one, stepping out of the shadows while Blue sinks back against the wall with an almost embarrassed look on his face (does that count as a face?)

The new arrival is taller and thinner than the first, with a purple mask instead and a giant stick slung over his back. His eyes are a freakish mix between red and brown, one that makes her think of blood in coffee...but there's also something deeply intelligent, almost _warm_ about them.

"I think you might be having a panic attack," he says carefully, like he's soothing a skittish horse. "Not surprising, given your circumstances and somewhat...confusing reception," he shoots a glare at Blue, who looks even more embarrassed. "I'm going to need you to breath me with me, okay?"

Katie's panting too hard to reply, so he starts taking deep, exaggerated breaths. The sight is so ridiculous that she wants to laugh, but there's the little hyperventilation thing in her way, so she finds herself joining in instead.

To her surprise, she actually finds her lungs easing back into a regular rhythm. Of course, her heart is still pounding and there's an alarm in her head screaming _whatthefuckingfuck_ over and over again in her head, but at least she isn't immediately about to pass out.

Purple peers down at her. "You okay?" he asks, then immediately answers his own question. "I mean, of course you're not _okay_ , none of us are, I just...Fuck."

He rubs his eyes, looking so vulnerable and exhausted she almost feels sorry for him for a split second. "We're, we're really sorry for all of this. It's just, they keep _moving_ him and someone else was gonna get captured at this rate and, and...but I'm rambling."

He gives her a sad smile, exposing a missing tooth. "There's really nothing we can do to make this better...but we won't hurt you." His voice grows firmer. "No matter what."

She's still trying to process all that when Purple and Blue both awkwardly bow their heads and head out of the room.

"Wait," she manages to say as the door swings closed, a bolt of white-hot terror replacing her confusion. "Wait, you, you can't just _leave_ me here, wait--" She scrambles to her feet and runs at the door, but the lock closes before she can her reach.

"Let me out," Katie says, patting her palms frantically against the unyielding wood. "Let me out, let me out, I don't understand-- _please._ "

Her fists pound against the wood, the pain grounding her just enough to keep from drowned under the building, screaming waves of fear.

"LET ME OUT!" she screams, her voice harsh against her throat and painful to her ears. "LET ME GO YOU FUCKING FREAKS!"

She can hear Purple and Blue talking on the other side of the door, their voices low and tense. It's only latter, after she's cried and pounded and screamed her way into total exhaustion, that she manages to process what they were saying:

"I'll take first watch."

"Are-are you sure?"

"Yeah. You should be probably go check the security cameras again, make sure there really is nothing to wipe."

"I....God, can't we just try Bishop again?"

"You know as well as I do that won't work, especially not now. Now _go._ She'll tire herself out in a little while."

There's a shift of movement, the soft scrape of shell against the outer door as her blue captor lowers himself to the ground and gets into a sitting position.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, his voice heavy with what sounds like unshed tears, his voice barely discernible under Katie's own sobs. "I'm so sorry."


	2. Chapter 2

"Miss Westwood?" Someone's knocking on the door. "I'm coming in now, okay?"

Katie sits up, blinking wearily, as the door creaks open. For a second she can't remember why her throat feels so raw, or why her face and clothes are damp, or why her knuckles ache, then--"Oh," she says as Purple slinks into the room. "It wasn't a dream."

"I'm afraid not," he replies. He drops to his knees in front of her (which only highlights how ridiculously tall he is) and pulls some stuff out of a belt pouch. "I'm going to take care of your hands now, is that all right?"

She thinks about saying no, but what would purpose would that serve? Besides, her knuckles do hurt pretty bad from punching that stupid door.

So she obediently holds out her hands, gritting her teeth as Purple dabs at the wounds and picks out a splinter before wrapping them in gauze. He hums and clucks to himself as he works; with those eyes hidden by his bowed head he almost looks harmless. Almost.

When she's done Purple asks if her if she needs to use the bathroom and she nods yes, feeling slightly embarrassed. He reaches out to take her arm and she tenses, wondering if his fingers will be sticky and smily.

"It's okay," he says yet again. His grip is very gentle and surprisingly warm, a fact that she wonders on as he leads her out of the cell.

He guides her through some kind of common area, with a sunken floor full of furniture. She can see some pictures on the far wall, along with some marks that suggest more pictures have been taken down. Katie can't take in the details of the remaining pictures very well; it looks to show some happy-looking turtle creatures with a...is that big furry thing a _werewolf?_

She forgets all about the pictures, though, when she sees a _third_ turtle creature sitting on the couch, watching _Crognard_ with a riveted expression. This one is smaller than the other two, with a bright orange mask and a scattering of freckles (how the hell does something like that get freckles, and how is he pulling them off so well?). He pauses to look up as they pass, his round face breaking out in a smile.

"Hey, dude and dudette!" he calls, popping up with his hand outstretched. "You must be Katie, right? I'm--"

"No names!" barks Purple, although his voice sounds more fondly annoyed than angry. "Limit emotional connections, remember?"

Orange skitters to a stop, which is good because Katie finds the cheerful gleam in his bright blue eyes ten times creepier than the others' stern gazes. "Oops, my bad," he says. "Well, it's nice to meet you anyway, even under these rather uncool circumstances. I'll get you your dinner in a little while, okay? Did you check out the comic books I left you?"

Purple gently leads her away, which is actually kind of welcoming because Katie thinks she's on the verge of either breaking into hysterical laughter or screaming that there are a lot of better names for this situation than _uncool_.

"Sorry about that," Purple mutters as they approach what seem to be the bathroom door. "He's kind of in denial about the whole...gravity of the situation."

He lets her in, and Katie quietly thanks God that he doesn't follow her. For a moment she finds herself checking the place for weapons, but there isn't a razor in sight (of course not, none of these assholes have hair) and if she breaks the mirror Purple will hear.

She leans over the sink, hands shaking slightly, willing herself not to vomit. She feels fresh tears welling up and blinks them away.

She will be strong. She will hold herself together, she will be her parents' daughter and do whatever it takes to get back to them. She will collect every available scrap of information about her captors and she will seek every opportunity to escape.

"It's going to be okay," she tells herself, and ignores the fact that Purple said almost the exact same thing.

Back in her cell, she does indeed find a stack of comic books pushed in the corner, which she hasn't noticed until now. Most of them are superheroes or sci-fi, kid's stuff. She finds some very well-loved _Daredevil_ issues and even a few _Space Heroes_ episode adaptions. She flips through them cautiously, wondering if Orange slipped in a dirty magazine to knock her off balance or something. He seemed like the kind of person who would find such a thing funny.

Speaking of Orange, he does indeed breeze in soon enough with a tray full of food and a slightly strained smile. "You hungry, dudette?" he asks, setting his tray down on her nightstand. "Behold," he dips his head and spreads his hands in a mock bow, "I bring a meal fit for a queen."

Her shoulders tense--is he taunting her? She almost wants to spit at him, but the hopeful little smile he's wearing makes her pause. Maybe...maybe this really just was his half-assed way of trying to make her laugh. After all, he didn't actually mix in any porn with the comics.

And if it is a taunt...she's not sure that he's the kind of person she wants to piss off.

So Katie settles for blinking owlishly at him before turning to the food. It's some kind of homemade lasagna, with Caesar salad on the side and cake for dessert.

"The cake's not too dry," Orange promises. "I only made it a little while ago. I've been baking a lot since..." His face grows dark and closes off, and for a moment there's something about him that reminds her a lot of Blue.

Before the awkward silence can stretch too long, there's a soft _whump_ of flames and the sound of an alarm going off. Orange's face immediately goes pale. "Shit!" he yells, forgetting her completely as he dashes out of the room. "I forgot to lock up Chompy!"

He forgets to close the door as he dashes out, so she's able to cautiously peer through a crack while he tries to corral--she's not going to even try putting a name to that thing, but it's small and red and it seems to be setting the couch cushions align with its _fire farts_. Because of _course_ it fucking is.

Orange looks pretty distracted as he grabs a fire extinguisher, so Katie's actually considering making a run for it until she realizes that she's not only one attracted by the commotion. Blue and Purple have emerged from different rooms; Purple has some goggles pushed up on his forehead and Blue is trailed by a heavy waft of what appears to be incense.

They shoot each other looks of exasperated familiarity and go to help Orange get "Chompy" under control. Or Blue does; Purple, the one closest to her, moves to help before glancing in Katie's direction and trudging over to lock her door with a heavy sigh.

Their eyes meet for a second, and he gives her a sympathetic look. "Just...try to eat, please?" he says, glancing back towards Orange as he receives a gentle scolding from Blue. "He worked really hard on it."

Then he locks her away again.

She's hungry, so she does try to eat, even though the familiar food makes her even more painfully homesick than before and she can't help worrying that it's been drugged for some reason.

It isn't, or she doesn't think it is, because there doesn't seem anything chemically induced about the urge to vomit that has her pounding on the locked door a little while later. "I, I think I'm going to be sick," she gasps, ashamed at herself for expressing weakness to these _people_ (if she can call them that), but even more repulsed by the idea of having to sleep with her own puke.

Blue's waiting for her now, and he keeps up with long, measured strides as she sprints to the bathroom. Katie collapses on the cold tile, retching until there's nothing left to throw up, and then retching some more.

"I can't do this," she whispers, pressing her face against the unforgiving toilet seat. "I can't."

But there was never any choice, so she gets back and lets Blue lead her away.

Or she does until they're back at the door to her cell and the panic sweeps back over her, causing her to twist around and throw a sloppy punch at his head.

He fucking _leans_ out of the way, not even bothering to block, so she throws another one and another one. Finally she just gives up and launches at him with fingers clawed and teeth bared, so he steps aside and catches her just before she faceplants on the floor.

Blue helps her to her feet, carefully not looking at the humiliating blush on her face, and she shoves him away once she's upright. "Don't touch me, freak," she mutters.

He gives another of those ridiculous little bows. "As you wish," he says.

"Did you just quote the fucking _Princess Bride--_ never mind," she growls, stomping back inside and resisting the urge to slam the door like an angry teenager.

Katie slumps down against the wall with a groan, running her hands through her hair. She's angry at herself for lashing out, and even angrier that she didn't take more self-defense classes when she was younger. Not that that would have helped much, considering the Liam Neeson shit she just saw Blue pull. Where did he even learn to _do_ that?

As she runs this profoundly fucked-up day through her head--if it was a day, she hasn't seen a single window down here--Katie finds herself going back to those pictures. She's not sure what to think about the potential werewolf, but there were always _four_ of the turtle creatures in each image, she could make out that much. So far, however, she's only seen three.

 _Where's number four?_ she wonders, and has a sickening feeling that she already knows the answer.


	3. Chapter 3

The door creaks open and Katie sits up, no longer feeling her heart jump at the sight of a turtle entering the room--only it's not a turtle, it's a woman, a _human_ woman. She's wearing some kind of armor with a black mask, but Katie doesn't care because she's _normal_ , she's a _person_ , and she's Katie's ticket out of this nightmares.

"Are you with SWAT?" she gasps, glancing over the woman's shoulder for any approaching captors. The woman doesn't look like a normal SWAT soldier, but this it's not like she's dealing with a normal threat. "Please, we have to get out of here, they're crazy--"

"Maybe they are," says the woman calmly, and she sounds like she's only a few years older than Katie, if that. "But I'm not here for you."

Katie jerks to a stop. "What?" she sputters. "They--they _kidnapped_ me, they're not even human..."

The woman huffs, and for a heartbeat the skin behind her mask is covered in pearly white scales and her eyes are bright green with vertical pupils. "Neither am I," she says, an expression of mild contempt on her face as she looks around the cell. "Frankly, if you were _my_ hostage you wouldn't be treated nearly as nicely--"

"That's enough," says Blue, appearing in the doorway as he gently shoulders the woman out of the way. "Sorry," he mutters to Katie. "My brother will bring you breakfast in a little while. He's got Froot Loops." He starts to shut the door, awkwardly flipping on the light like he doesn't want her to be left in the dark, before locking it.

Having her hopes raised and dashed so quickly, so _brutally_ , is an experience that physically _hurts_. Katie's knees buckle under the weight, and she finds herself sliding down against the door. She hears voices on the other side, and finds herself pressing an ear against the wood.

"I'm impressed," she hears the woman say. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"You said you'd be _quiet,_ " Blue growls. "She's been through enough without being woken up by people gawking at her like she's in a zoo."

"Whatever. Any luck on strong-arming Mommy and Daddy?"

Blue sighs. "They didn't respond to the ultimatum we left in her dorm room, so we're going to send them another message today, maybe set up a line of communication."

"You gonna leave any bodies with that message?" Katie's blood freezes, both at the words and the woman's carefree tone.

"We don't have to kill anyone," Blue says, and his voice has that same note of desperate determination she heard when Purple claimed that she wouldn't be harmed.

"Right, right. Knowing Americans, they'd probably go all "rah rah we don't negotiate with terrorists" and sic some Jack Reacher asshole on you." Blue groans at the words, although there's a hint of laughter in his voice.

"By the way," the woman continues, "I can hear her listening to us talk through the door. I get that this was a rush job, but you should consider reinforcing..."

Katie doesn't hear the rest, because she's darted away from the door and back onto her bed, hugging her knees to her chest. _How the fucking fuck did she hear me?_ She remembers how the woman's eyes had looked--almost like a snake. _Do snakes have supersharp hearing or something?_

She stares at the door for a while, firmly pushing away the quiet little voice that wonders if she'll be punished for eavesdropping.

Nothing happen, but her heart stays in her mouth anyway.

Time passes. Orange brings her breakfast, chattering about nothing all the while. She sits on her bed and flips through comics, a paltry distraction from the quiet, ever-present fear. When she knocks on the door, there's always a turtle there to lead her to the bathroom.

She hears distant voices in the outer room, the TV playing, a distant _swish_ and _clank_ of what sounds like weapons, Blue barking out muffled commands in a language she doesn't know. At one point the other voices disappear and she's left alone with Orange, who looks unusually tense and silent as he feeds her a surprisingly tasty spaghetti lunch.

When they come back, she can hear a female voice mixed in with the two male ones. It doesn't sound like the woman from before, although Katie's not sure.

As she eats her dinner she sits against the door, straining her ears, and thinks she can pick out the _clink_ of utensils on plates. If they're eating at the same time she is, they do it in near-total silence.

After her plate gets taken away is when things get really weird.

"Miss Westwood?" calls a female voice through the door. Katie's certain that it's not the same woman from before, now. "I brought some bath stuff, a toothbrush, and a change of clothes. May I come in?"

Katie's first instinct is to cackle hysterically--are they bringing in _household amenities_ now? But she has to admit that her teeth do feel kind of gross, and she doesn't even want to smell herself. There's not way in hell she's taking a shower around these...people, but the other stuff sounds tempting.

 _Besides, you've already caved to most of their crazy shit, anyway,_ she tells herself bitterly. Out loud she says, "Yeah."

As the girl flips the lock, she says, "I want to warn you, my appearance is a bit...disorienting...right now."

Katie snorts, doubting that there's anything more _disorienting_ they could show her after half-naked turtle men or shapeshifting snake bitches. Then the girl steps inside, cradling a plastic bag, and she realizes that was a very stupid idea.

The girl who just entered the room has red hair and blue eyes. However, she is also blond and green-eyed. At the same time she's got long black hair and deep red lips, and brunette curls complete with glasses, and auburn waves plunging to her waist, and she looks like a lot of Megan Fox, and...

Katie almost collapses for the second time today and the girl grabs her by the hand, her grip strong and sure she helps Katie back upright. "Hey, easy," she says, like she's soothing a skittish horse. "It's okay. I just don't want you describing me when you get back to your parents."

"What...what the hell are you?" Katie gasps, unable to stop herself.

The girl glances down, seeming more embarrassed than insulted (the defect mode around here, apparently) and says, "You...you can call me Elizabeth." That's in no way an answer to her question, but Katie decides she doesn't really care right now.

Unable to look at.... _whatever_ the fresh fuck is going on with the girl's face, Katie focuses on her body. She's wearing some bizarre black jumpsuit with yellow accents; a swordlike thing is slung across her lower back, and there's a freaky-looking fan strapped to her leg.

It's an outfit, Katie decides, that's just profoundly weird enough to fit this girl.

She holds out the toiletries and Katie grabs them gratefully. "Do you want to go to the bathroom and clean up?" the girl asks, and Katie nods, still refusing to look directly at her.

Purple and Orange are sitting on the couch playing Mario Kart. They must be used to Elizabeth's funhouse-mirror appearance, because they shoot her warm smiles as she passes.

"Wanna go for a round when you're done?" asks Orange.

"Sure," Elizabeth replies fondly, and the scene is so blandly _normal_ that Katie doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

In the bathroom, she brushes her teeth and tries to not too hard at the four toothbrushes already resting on the sink. She has a mild freakout while changing clothes, because Jesus _Christ_ how did Elizabeth know all her sizes perfectly.

They're heading back to the cell when Elizabeth says, voice low so the others don't hear, "I...I know what it's like to feel trapped and scared. I know there's no way I can make this better, but I just want to let you know that you're not in danger here. We're gonna work all this out soon, I promise."

Katie blinks at the nonsensical statement, an angry buzz building in her belly. "If you've been where I am," she shoots back at normal volume (Orange and Purple look over, and Katie thinks _good, maybe she'll get it trouble_ ), "then why the fuck are you letting these freaks keeping me locked up?"

Elizabeth's hand tenses at her side, but her voice is dead calm. "Because, one of my friends _is_ in danger," she says, and something about the way she speaks makes Katie even more frightened than the snake woman did. "And I'm going to do whatever it takes to get him back."

The next morning (she thinks), Orange shoots her a strange, almost expectant look as he takes her cereal bowl away. Before she can spend too much time analyzing it, he's replaced by Blue.

"Would you mind coming with me, Miss Westwood?" he asks, holding out a hand.

Katie's not sure why he would give her the illusion of choice; a part of her wants to refuse and make him drag her away, kicking and screaming. 

(she doesn't, because she's afraid he'll do just that)

He leads into a new room, full of weird pieces of machinery, looming drop cloths, and weird glowy shit dropped in jars. Katie doesn't want to look at anything too closely, intimidated by the (probably) irrational fear that she'll see human organs floating among the scrum.

She's distracted by Purple, who's hunched over a computer in the back of the room. He exchanges thumbs up with Blue before pressing a button, and suddenly the computer is emitting a budge of static.

Purple leans forward, into some weird tangle of speakers. "Good morning," he says, "I know that several of the people listening in are already making attempts to trace this call, but I would like to respectfully ask you not to bother. I know you'll try anyway, of course, but you can't say I didn't warn you." Blue rolls his eyes, face full of loving exasperation.

And then Katie doesn't care about any of that, because her father's voice is booming into the room as he says, "I want to speak to my daughter."


	4. Chapter 4

Katie steps forward, mouth opening, but Blue puts a callused hand over her mouth and holds a finger to his lips. She wants to bite down and speak anyway, but than they might tape her mouth closed or, worse, take her away completely.

So she remains obediently still as he approaches the speakers. "Good morning, General," he says, voice colder and harder than she's ever heard it. "You may speak to your daughter presently, but first I'd like to speak to my brother."

Her father has an unfamiliar growl in his voice when he says, " _You let me talk to my daughter, and_ maybe _I'll let you talk to your brother._ " Katie can't help feeling her heart rise at the words--screw the snake bitch and the rest of these fuckers, she has someone who _loves_ her, who wants to fight for her and has the tools to do so.

"Your daughter has not been harmed," Blue says soothingly.

_"And I should believe you why?"_

"Because we have no _reason_ to harm her," Purple says acidly. "We know perfectly well how her body works, so we have no reason to vivisect her or saw her cranium open. And even if we _didn't_ know, we wouldn't torture her for answers in the name of _scientific discovery._ "

Katie blinks in surprise at the words, and her father seems temporarily jarred into silence. Blue shoots Purple a look, and he slumps back with a huff.

Blue says, "If you need a few minutes to collect my brother, we are perfectly content to wait." Purple raises his eyebrows, but says nothing.

Her father sighs heavily. _"Even if I wanted to let you talk to him--which I don't--I couldn't. He's in deep sedation right now and won't come out for several hours. He...he tried to escape again, last night."_ Purple drops his face into his palms.

"How badly was he injured?" Blue asks, jaw twitching.

_"He wasn't--"_

"I know how humans operate," There's something dark in Blue's eyes, and Katie thinks that his right leg flexes ever so slightly as he speaks. "You always treat any unknown threat with the maximum amount of force. Now, I'd like a full list of his injuries, please, or we shall have to assume the worst."

Silence.

"Do you need to get your wife? I understand that she's the head doctor in charge of my brother's case. If you like we can speak to you both tomorrow--"

 _"No,"_ her father growls, sounding a little defeated. _"I've got the reports right here. Let's see--right femur broken, three cracked ribs, dislocated his left shoulder, three right fingers broken, pretty bad bruising over his left eye, got another piece cracked off his chest--"_

"Plastron," Purple interrupts.

_"What?"_

"It's his plastron, not his 'chest.'" He's staring fixedly at the floor, eyes distant. Besides him Blue's fists are clenched, although his face is blank.

 _"Whatever,"_ her father mutters, seemingly to himself. _"He killed two guards and put three in the hospital, if that makes you feel any better."_

Katie winces, unable to stop herself. She never expected her father to talk about such brutal things so...casually before.

"What sedative did you use on him?" Purple asks. Her father rattles off a list of chemicals and Purple groans. "Charming. It's a miracle you idiots haven't accidentally killed him yet."

Blue gives him another look, and Purple leans forward with a sigh. "Back to the matter at hand, we'd like full copies of all the files on everything you've done to my brother, including the ones from the system I've already hacked. We'd also like every single biological sample you've taken from our brother, along with the return of gear and weapons you stolen from him. You can give it all to him before his re--"

 _"Excuse me?"_ her father asks, sounding incredulous. _"I set up this call to negotiate my daughter's return, not a goddamn exchange of hostages. You really think I'm going to throw away a billion-dollar organism because some freaks with sticks and swords told me so? Especially after what you did?"_

"Not an _exchange_ ," says Blue, face and voice still dead calm. "You will release my brother first. Once we have ascertained that he is...relatively unharmed and has everything we requested, than we will return your daughter.

Her father lets out a burst of shocked laughter. _"You're joking, right? Because let me tell you, son, you have a terrible sense of hum--"_

Blue slams a fist down on the table, making the speakers jump. His eyes are blazing and Katie instinctively takes a step away.

"I. Am. No. Son. Of. Yours." His voice is deeper than before, and cold enough to freeze fire.

Silence. Blue straightens back up and takes a few deep, slow breaths. When he speaks again, his voice is calm once again, and that somehow frightens Katie more than the yelling.

"As I was saying, you will release my brother per our specifications. If you refuse to do this, or are unable to do so, we will find someone with more influence than you and take _their_ child. We will keep your daughter with us for the rest of her life if necessary." Katie thinks her face goes white at that.

Her father laughs again, his voice sounding slightly strained. _"You...you're serious. My god, do you even know who I work for?"_

"You," Blue says, "work for the military branch of the United States Government. You work for the same people who were unable to protect this world from either the Triceratrons or the Kraang. You work for people who are unable to look after your own children, but will expend considerable time, resources, and manpower keeping my brother from his family." Her father stuttered at that, but said nothing.

"You work for people who are equally terrified of mutants and aliens, but are willing to treat aliens humanely because they were bullied into doing so. You work for _samurai_ , and people like you have long forgotten how to fight _ninja._

"You work for people who believe that my brothers and I hold some kind of shortcut to power in our genes, never recognizing that it is our years of training, our ability to work together, our determination to _always_ do what is necessary, and what is _right_ , that makes us your soldiers' superiors in combat.

"I have fought aliens, mutants, sorcerers, and robots. I have seen the worst of what your _humanity_ has to offer and killed it. You consider yourself an expert in war, General? I have been waging a war for my very _survival_ since I was fifteen years old. 

"My clan and I, we have fought and suffered and bled and _lost_. We have experienced things that you couldn't even _imagine._ We have lost people and we will _never_ let it happen again, no matter what it takes. I," his breath catches for a second, "I will fill the Hudson with _blood_ before I let you steal my brother from me."

There's a silence after the speech ends. Purple looks at Blue in astonishment, and even Blue looks a little startled by what just poured out of his mouth. Katie gawps at him openly, feeling overwhelmed by a toxic blend of shock, confusion, and blinding fear.

When her father finally speaks, he seems to be making an effort to sound lighthearted. _"Well, you--you talk a good talk, mutant, but from where I'm sitting you don't have much to back it up."_

"Perhaps," says Blue, shrugging gracefully. "The question is, how do you think Katherine would feel about you betting her future on that?" He turns and waves Katie forward. "Perhaps we'll ask her."

Katie approaches on numb feet. "Daddy?" she calls, trying so very hard not to let her voice quiver, and failing.

 _"Baby?"_ her father gasps, shocked out of his bluster. _"Oh God, we've been worried. Are you...are you okay?"_

"I'm fine," she says, hugging herself and not daring to look at the turtles. "They fed me, they haven't hurt me. I'm..." _terrified confused scared out of my mind on the verge of a nervous breakdown probably going to have nightmares about_ _lasagna for the rest of my life_ "...okay."

 _"It's going to be just fine, sweetheart,"_ says her father, voice brimming with what she dearly hopes isn't false confidence. _"We're gonna get these fuckers, I swear to you."_

She wants to reply, but Blue speaks before she can. "You love your daughter very much, don't you, General?" he asks. "If you insist on being difficult, this is the last time you will ever hear her voice.

Panic shoots through Katie, a bolt of hot lightning, and she rounds on Blue. "You can't--"

 _"You can't--"_ her father snarls, simultaneously.

"I can," says Blue, cutting them both off. "I don't want to, but I will. If you were capable of finding her on your own, you would have done so by now."

"Speaking of," Purple puts in. "The strike team that you transmitted a command to a few minutes ago should be nearing the location incorrectly deemed our own. I did warn you not to try and trace me."

"The choice is completely yours, General, just as it was your choice to start a conflict with us," says Blue.

Katie's father sputters.

"I understand that my brother is in a heavily guarded facility outside of city limits," Blue continues. "It will take some time for you to collect yourself and bring him here. We will contact you tomorrow morning to set up his release. If you're not willing to cooperate, you won't like what I have to say."

 _"You're insane,"_ her father snarls. _"You're completely insane if you think this is going to work."_

Blue blinks, looking thoughtful. "I live in a mad world, general, and I'm handling it as best I can. Now, good day." He nods to Purple.

She screams _"No!"_ but Purple's already pressing a button, and the computer turns off with a click. Her last connection to her father is severed just like that, leaving her alone with these _things_ yet again.

Her shoulders slump and she staggers backward, trembling. She barely even registers it when Blue places a hand on the small of her back and gently guides her back to her cell.

Katie curls up under her blankets and lets the silent tears fall.


	5. Chapter 5

She gets breakfast from Orange, who's practically vibrating as he babbles about Mario Kart and his pet cat (who the fuck names a cat Ice Cream Kitty?) When he brings in lunch he just stands there, watching her eat. His jaw is twitching and his eyes are darting around--she wonders if he's high.

"Can I help you?" she asks. She wants to know how things went with with her father, but she's afraid of the answer. 

"Can I tell you about my brother?" he asks suddenly. "The...missing one, I mean."

Before she can reply, or even begin to process that weird request, he starts talking. His voice starts out slow and hesitant, but speeds up as he talks, until he's chattering at top speed.

"He...he likes playing loud music, with a lot of curse words. He'll turn up as high as it'll go, just to piss off L--the rest of us. He steals motorcycles, too, drives them around until L--the rest of us--make him put it back. He gets into a ton of fights, and he drinks a lot. Whenever D--my brother tries to give him a powerpoint about brain damage or alcohol degeneration or something, he laughs it off.

"But he also knits. Like, a ton. One Christmas we all woke up with these big woolly socks in our beds, and he flat-out pretended that he stole them from a shop, which is," he wriggles his massive feet, "kind of stupid, you know?

"He loves animals--pigeons, cats, dogs, space aliens, even..." he shudders, "...squirrels. Sometimes I call him Snow White, and I don't think it makes him as mad as he says."

"He doesn't really like sex, or want to have sex with anyone, but he's in this relationship with this space lizard we know. D--my brother--told me that they transmit romantic poetry to each other a ton, and it's like, really good.

"When he can't sleep, he'll go around the Lar and make sure we're all okay. Sometimes, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and he'll be peeking in my door. And...sometimes he has nightmares, really bad ones, and I have to give him one of my stuffed animals to help him get back to sleep. Which he's embarrassed about and threatened to kill me if I ever mentioned it to anyone, which is...well, kind of how he works.

"He wants to protect people--us, especially, but everyone else too. I mean, we've literally saved the world a bunch of times and that's not enough for him, you know? He wants to go around, beating up bad guys and keeping people safe. And, like, he does this even though most of the people he saves are really scared of him, and even though he says it doesn't hurt him I think it does."

She stares at him, growing more confused with every word and more...she's not sure what the word fits--sympathetic? No, not sympathetic, not with her fucking _captor_ , but she feels...different. Different about him, about her situation, although she can't really explain how.

Although she's mostly distracted by having no idea what the fresh fuck he's talking about.

When he's done with the word vomit, she manages to collect herself enough to say, "Why the hell did you tell me all that?"

He sighs, hugging himself. "I...I just wanted to let you know that we're not animals, you know? We're people. We make mistakes, and we do things we don't want to do, but me and my brothers. We're still people. And when you go back--and you will--I want you to, like, remember that we're people. Even if you're mad at us, you'll be mad at us and know we're people."

Katie blinks at him for a few seconds, than opens her mouth. Maybe she'll tell him to beat it, or maybe she'll ask him to tell her more about what makes him and his brothers people. She's not sure.

And she never finds out, because the world tilts sickeningly and she almost topples off the bed.

"Hey, whoa," says Orange, rushing to catch her. "You okay, dudette?" She thinks she should be panicking about his hands on her bare skin, but she's too busy panicking at the way that the room is warping in on itself and she can no longer feel her toes.

"Guys!" Orange yells, over his shoulder. "Guys, I think it's working!"

 _What's working?_ The question forms in her brain, but gets lost on its way to her mouth as she slumps over in his arms.

Darkness. Quiet. She floats in that for a long while, and than she feels it melting away.

She's lying on something soft--her bed? No, too crinkly. Her hand tingles. Why is it tingling?

Voices. Soft and far away, muffled, nibbling at her ears:

"I'm going to try again."

"No. You've exhausted yourself enough as it is."

"I have to..."

"We know this was a possibility, right? There's no mantra on earth that can regenerate organs. It's enough that you managed to repair the stump."

"She...she'll be damaged for life."

"We've all been damaged for life. At least she didn't have to be awake when it happened."

Her eyes flicker open with a groan, crusted and flickering at the harsh light overhead.

She's in the room with the machines again, and Blue and Purple are breaking up their conversation to peer at her with identical guilty expressions. Katie sits up, rubbing her head as the...examination table, she thinks...crackles beneath her.

"What'd you do t'me?" she mumbles sleepily, pressing her hands to her eyes.

And then she jerks them away from her like she's been burned, because something is wrong, something is _so wrong._

She looks at her fingers: long, slender, callused from years of basketball, gold nail polish still chipping off the nails.

And there are only _nine_ of them.

Where her left pinky should be is a smooth, pale stump. There's no bandage, no blood, no pain. It's just...not there.

"Your father pretended to negotiate with us this morning while he sent a strike team to a false location," Blue says, his voice sounding heavy and tired. "We had to make him take us seriously. What they're doing to my brother...every day counts." He sighs. "I'm so sorry."

"Monsters," she breathes, looking up from her hand as tears fall down her face. "You're fucking monsters, all of you."

Then her eyes roll up in her head and she passes out.

For the second time that day, she wakes up with a tingling hand and distant voices.

"Dude, please..."

"Get out of my way."

She's lying on something softer now--her bed. No, _their_ bed, just like this is _their_ cell and this is _their_ hell she's been dragged to.

"Look, her dad is finally trying to work things out with us, and we think he really means it this time."

"And that makes this better?"

She curls in on herself. She doesn't want any voices. She doesn't want to move or speak or breathe ever again, not when these _psychopaths_ are doing the same.

She'd cover her ears, but she doesn't want to use her hands right now.

"If it helps Raph, yeah." Orange's voice is firmer than she's ever heard it. "Now, let's just sit down and we can talk abo--"

There's a _crack_ , followed by a heavy _thump_ of a body hitting the ground. Katie jerks upright at the sound.

The door swings open, hitting the wall with a _bang._ She sees a boy around her age standing in the doorway, his face covered in a heavy mask of paint and two hockey sticks strapped to his back.

"Oh," he says, his voice shaking with horror. "Oh God, what have they _done?"_


	6. Chapter 6

"Come on," he says, striding towards her. "We're getting out of here."

Katie blinks, not daring to believe it, but lets herself be tugged to her feet and gently shepherded out the door. They pass Orange lying passed out on the ground, a nasty bruise on his head, and she finds herself drawing back her foot to kick him.

"Don't, please," her rescuer says, pulling her along. "You've got every right to be mad, but they're just...confused." He rubs his face as they make their way through the central area. "Christ, I can't _believe_ this, I thought they were doing okay..."

"What do you think you're doing?" says Blue, stepping out of the shadows, and the sight very nearly makes Katie piss herself.

But her rescuer just barks a harsh laugh and doesn't break stride. "What do _I_ think I'mdoing? I'm not the one playing Grand Theft Undergrad and mutilating people like a fucking _terrorist_."

Blue doesn't react to the comment. "How did you even know she was here?" he asks,

"Slash told me, Leatherhead told him, and Mikey," her rescuer jabs a thumb over his shoulder at a still-unconscious Orange, "told Leatherhead."

Blue rubs his eyes and sighs, looking exasperated. " _Dammit,"_ he mutters, almost to himself, before saying, "Look, we finally got her father to cooperate. Raph's gonna be released soon, and than we'll let her go."

"No, she's leaving right now." Her rescuer drags her forward until he's standing chest-to-chest with Blue. "Now get the hell of our way, and _maybe_ I won't kick your ass when I get back."

Blue just raises an eyebrow. "You're going to show a perfect route to and from the lair, then? Let her tell her father where to send his commandos so he can have four turtles to slice up instead of one?"

"Mikey!" Purple dashes into the room, a first aid kit in hand, and drop down at Orange--Mikey's side. He glares up at her rescuer. "What the hell is your _problem?_ "

"My problem?" her rescuer repeats, letting out a second, more hysterical laugh. "My problem is that I'm the only one in this fucking _insane asylum,"_ he gestures around the room, "who hasn't completely lost their shit. I mean, why the fuck didn't you just call Bishop?"

"We tried that," says Blue, shoulders sagging. "Apparently aliens are his jurisdiction, not mutants. They were threatening to kick him off-world if he got involved, so he said "sorry" and basically sacrificed my brother for politics. He didn't even know which facility Raph is in right now."

"So this is your solution? Kidnapping people like the goddamn Shredder?"

Blue tenses, and Katie has a sudden urge to shrink away, although she forces herself to stay firm. "If Saki had taken her, it would a thousand times worse."

"Keep telling yourself that," her rescuer says. He starts leading her towards the door, but Blue grabs him by the other arm. "Let. Me. Go." her rescuer growls.

Blue just stands there and says nothing.

"Fine." Her rescuer grabs some kind of stick from his back and swings it at Blue's head. He grabs it and yanks, sending the boy crashing to the floor.

While they're both distracted, Katie takes the opportunity to dash for the door, only Elizabeth to step through and block her way. Katie lurches backward, heart in her mouth. "No..."

"I'm sorry, Miss Westwood," says the other girl, holding up her hands placatingly. "Can you please go back to your room? This'll all be over soon."

 _"April?!"_ her rescuer yells, his voice filled with shock and hurt. Katie turns to see Blue wrestling him into an armlock. "You're in on this, too?! And your eyes..." His face seems to light up with recognition behind the mask. "Jesus fuck, are you scrambling her brain?"

"I'm not doing any permanent damage," says Elizabeth-April-whatever the fuck her name is. "Just please calm down, this is almost over."

"You don't her want to identify you, huh?" her rescuers snarls, a dark glare in his eyes. "Bad enough she can already pick the giant green turtles out of any police lineup. Hey, maybe I should just tell her that she's being mindfucked by the one and only April O--"

April's hand twitches, and his voice stutters to a stop. "I'm sorry," she tells him, her voice sounding pained, but steady. "But I can't let you make this any worse than it already is."

Her hand relaxes and the boy staggers forward in Blue's arms. "I can't _believe_ this," he says, words hollow and defeated. "You--all the shit we've been through, and _this_ is when you guys give up your humanity?"

"We didn't _give_ up our humanity," Purple growls. They all turn to see him rising up from the floor, where Orange is still lying with an icepack placed gently on his bruise.

"It was carved out of us," Purple continues, walking towards them. "Piece by piece, horror by horror. You know when I gave up my humanity, Casey? It was after I saw Leo tossed through a window like he was _nothing_ , after I saw Raph got turned into a mindless _slave,_ after we watched the world _burn_ , after my father was impaled and thrown to his death _twice."_

He's standing in front of her rescuer--Casey--now. Casey glares back at him defiantly. "You got something to say to me, Donnie?"

"Do you know what they're doing to him?" Donnie asks suddenly.

Casey's face twists in confusion, and Katie feels the same. "What?" he asks.

"To Raph," says Donnie. "I hacked into some of their records, you know--that's how we found _her,"_ he waves an arm in Katie's direction. "I expected you to ask if we'd found anything, but you didn't. Which is weird; I mean, the whole _reason_ we're all in this mess is because you weren't covering Raph's back in the first place, isn't it?"

Casey's jaw works, but he says nothing.

"Shall I give you a sample?" Donnie says brightly. "I mean, they've probably added all sorts of charming horrors to the list since then, but we got the gist of it."

Blue tenses. "Donnie..."

"It's fine, Leo," Donnie reassures him. "Casey's made himself the Morality Police, after all, I'm sure he can take it."

Casey shakes his head. "That doesn't have anything to do with thi--"

"Blood tests, for one," says Donnie, cutting him off. "Marrow tests, too--do you know what the marrow is, Casey? It's in your bones, and getting it out _hurts_ if you don't get anesthesia, which--trust me--they didn't give him. And MRIs, which sound okay until you remember it's Raph, so they probably had to beat the shit out of him before they could get him to hold still.

"They've been also doing a bunch of clever little endurance tests. There's one where they make him run on a treadmill until he passes out, shock him if he stops running. Than they stuck him in a tank full of water. That must have been boring, waiting for the air to run out--I bet they were all in the middle of a card game or something when his heart stopped and they had to start it back up."

Katie realizes that her mouth has fallen open yet again, but her head is spinning too much for her to concentrate on closing it. Casey looks like he's about to pass about, but Blue's face is stiff. _He's heard all this before_ , she realizes.

"They did a bunch of stuff with temperature and shit, too--they put him in a hot room, and an ice bath. He almost died each time, and _then_ they moved on to cutting and burning him, testing our 'healing factor.'" Donnie puts the last two words in air quotes. "I swear, those assholes hear the word 'mutant' and they all automatically think Wolverine.

"Gave him a bunch of IQ tests, like he was a goddamn four-year-old. Not too bad, except once again, _Raph,_ so they gave him more shocks when he didn't answer their questions like a good boy. Ripped out a tooth, too, so they could dissolve it in acid or some juvenile nonsense. The notes mentioned that they might take some ocular fluid, too, so bye-bye Raphie's eyes."

"But do you want to know the worst trick that those demons cooked up for my brother, Case?" Donnie leans up into Casey's shocked face. " _Sperm harvesting."_ The words come with a burst of spit. "You see, your little damsel's mumsy and popsicle have some half-assed idea about creating a fucking _mutant army_ , so they decided to use Raph to make a bunch of baby turtles."

"Do you want to know what that means? It means they strapped Raph down on a table and forcibly stimulated his genitals and anus until he orgasmed and they could collect his cum--probably did it more than once, too. And knowing Raph, he has no earthly idea why his body betrayed him like that and has been in a spiral of shame and self-loathing ever since. It'll take _months_ to help him recover from that alone--if he ever does."

There's a spot of silence. Than Casey says, his voice hoarse and dull: "Let me go." Leo releases him and he dashes over to the nearest trash can, dropping to his knees to throw up.

His vomit fills the quiet, and Katie feels like doing the same. After he's down, he remains hunched over the trash can, tears glittering on his cheeks.

When Donnie speaks again, his voice is softer, robbed of its mocking edge. "Yes, we kidnapped someone and drugged her. Yes, I personally removed her left pinky in a laboratory setting so that Leo could drop it off in her parents' mail slot. Yes, my father would probably be disgusted with us if he was here.

"But he's not, because once upon a time we were weak, and stupid, and believed that we somehow had to be "better" than the people who wanted us wiped from the face of the earth.

"I did what I did, and I regret nothing, because what that girl has gone through because is a fucking _birthday_ _party_ compared to what is happening to my brother even as we speak."

Donnie sighed. "Contrary to what Splinter tried to teach us, and what your parents tried to teach you, there is no Good or Bad, not in this world. There is Bad, and there is Worse. And I--we--will be as Bad as we have to be in order to protect ourselves and our remaining loved ones from the people who are Worse."

There's another, longer silence before Casey rises gingerly to his feet. He shoots Katie a tired, broken look and says, "I'm sorry." Than he collapses on the couch with his head in his hands. Donnie sits down besides him, resting a comforting hand on his back.

April, who's been quiet for so long that Katie's almost forgotten she was there, rests a hand on her arm and murmurs, "Come on." Head spinning, Katie obediently lets herself by led back to her cell yet again. As she passes through the door, she sees Leo kneel down by Mikey as he sits up with a groan. Back on the couch, Donnie pull Casey into his arms and they both start sobbing.

The door locks and Katie lies down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. She knows she should be angry about her finger, brokenhearted about her botched escape, and later she will be, but right now she just feels numb.

Her captors are Bad, even if they didn't start out that way, and she will never forgive them for what they have done. But if what Donnie said tonight is true--and Katie realizes that she believes him, deep in her bones--than her parents, the people who loved and raised her and supported her every step of the way, are Worse.

And for the rest of her life, no matter how long or short it is, she'll have to live with that.


	7. Chapter 7

"You have to eat," Mikey says, shifting his weight from foot to foot like he was doing the goddamn potty dance.

"I don't have to do shit," Katie mutters, staring blankly at the wall. This was her second meal since her aborted rescue; she'd the last one at the ceiling and resumed tearing up the comic books. Mikey had looked at the wrecked comics with a bit of a teary expression as he'd silently scraped food off the walls, and for some reason she'd actually found herself stopping. Manipulative little bastard.

"Please?" he begs, making his eyes go freakishly big. "You'll feel better if you eat."

She ignores him and asks, "Where are your brothers and that bitch in the suit? The only voices I've heard out there for hours have been yours and that painted fuck, Cassy or whatever his name is. Are they trying to set something up with my dad? Is that why you look even more like you ate a bottle of Adderall than usual?"

He nods, his face actually lighting up. "Yeah! They're going to get Raph back and then we'll be able to take you home, and everything will be fine."

"Unless the deal falls through again," says Katie, waggling her fingers. "In which case, I assume they'll hack off another finger, or a nose, or an ear, or a tit?" She made her voice sarcastic and razor-edged, because it was better than admitting that those possibilities had kept her up in a cold sweat for hours.

Mikey sighs, something hard flickering behind his baby-blue eyes. "We'll...we'll probably chop off another finger," he admits, leaning against the wall. "But this food isn't drugged, I swear."

Katie raises an eyebrow. "Right, and I should believe you because you and the rest of the Green Man Group have proved yourselves _so_ trustworthy."

He didn't have answer to that, of course.

She expected him to keep fruitlessly pushing, or otherwise just keep up, but instead he says, "We...we don't want to do this, you know. I mean, you heard what Donny said last night--your parents aren't giving us much of a choice."

"I know," she admits, although she wishes she didn't. "But my parents, they think they're doing the right thing, too. They think they're doing what's necessary to protect our country."

"Do you believe that?" Mikey asks.

Katie stares down at her feet. She knows her parents would want her to say that, of course: _Yeah, and go fuck yourself._ But...not only is there the issue of what they're doing to Raph, there's also the fact that she wouldn't be here if it weren't for them. And she'll have a hard time forgiving them for that.

"I don't know," she says honestly.

Mikey sighs and nods. "Yeah. Well, anyway, you should eat--"

There's a bang from the outer room that sounds distinctly like a door being kicked down.

Mikey grabs his weapons and dashes out of his room, not bother to close the door behind him. Katie peers out after him, hoping to see a SWAT team. She's disappointed.

Leo (apparently the one to kick through the door) is dashing into the room, a turtle Katie's never seen before cradled in his arms. _Raph._

Dark marks dot Raph's skin, some of them with a sickly tinge. His breathing sounds congested, almost strangled, his nostrils fluttering frantically. His muscular limbs are shaking lightly, fingers clenching and unclenching spastically. His head lolls limply to the side, revealing a bloody socket where his left eye should be. Katie claps a hand to her mouth, stomach boiling.

Leo is chanting something--a _prayer?_ \--and his hands seem to be glowing _blue_. _What the fuck._ Donnie and April follow in his wake, blood staining a makeshift bandage on April's shoulder. Donnie is carrying a massive cooler, while April is holding a belt, a red mask, and two weird, trident-shaped knives.

"What's happened? What's wrong with him?" Mikey calls, sounding young and panicked as Casey jumps up from the couch.

"They shot at us, and than he had a reaction in the Shellraiser" Donnie explains. "Those _fuckers_ have been testing god knows what on him for days."

"It's not working!" Leo yells, his voice teetering on the edge of hysteria in a way Katie has never heard from him. "Why isn't it working?!"

"They haven't fed him since he got captured and a bunch of these wounds are infected, so his body will need a lot more help to fight it off," says Donnie, his voice sounding calm and commanding even though his face is twisted with panicked fury. "April, Casey, with me. You're going to have to help clean him his wounds and start getting an IV into him while Leo keeps up the mantra and I analyze these samples," he hefts the cooler, "to try and find out what they did.".

"And Mikey..." his eyes dart to her and Katie can't help quailing under the full force of that red anger, even though it's not mean for her. "...lock her door."

The rest all dash into the room with the machines while Mikey approaches the door, hands wildly tapping at his sides.

As he starts to close the door, she can't help asking "What happens to me if he dies?"

Mikey freezes and stares at her for a second, before shutting the door and locking it. Katie sinks to the floor and curls up in herself with a groan, already feeling the first tears fall.

She knows what they'll do if Raph dies. It's what she would do, in their place.

Katie cries herself to sleep. She wakes up, remembers everything that's happened, and cries herself to sleep again.

The next time she wakes up Leo's opening the door, looking absolutely exhausted.

"What happened?" Katie asks, rising to her feet. "Is he dead? Are you going to kill me?"

"He's fine," Leo says, his gaze unfathomable. "Donnie's already drawing up plans for a cybernetic eye, and you're going home."

"Are you saying that just to make me feel better?" she says, feeling very tired and empty.

"I'm not, I swear," says Leo, taking a step towards her.

"I don't want to die," she tells him, her hands shaking slightly (like Raph's were).

"I know," he says, his own hands starting to move. "Everything's going to be fine."

His swords gleam in the light.


	8. Chapter 8

Katie sits up with a groan, rubbing the side of her neck. She blinks, her eyes adjusting to the harsh streetlights to find herself sitting in an...alley?

She glances up and thinks she might see a flicker of blue overhead, but when she refocuses it's long gone. She jumps to her feet and scrambles out of the road, heart thumping, terrified that he might come back.

There's a weight in her pockets and when Katie pats them she find a phone--not her phone, a new one. Did they think her parents would track her through her own phone? _Could my parents have tracked me through my own phone?_

And then she forgets all that, because it hurts her like a lightning bolt that's _over_ , she's _free_ , and she crashes to her knees with a moan of shocked relief. For a moment she forgets everything, forgets her hand and Raph's missing eye and the grinding stress of the past few days, just quivers with the sheer joy that only liberated prisoners can fully understand.

Her fingers _(her remaining fingers, don't think about that)_ shake as she dials. _"_ _K-Katie?"_ her father's shocked voice asks.

"Hi, Daddy," she says, feeling tears choke up her throat.

 _"Oh....oh, God, baby,"_ he sniffles. _"Oh God...do you know where you are?"_

She describes it as best she can, and he stays on the phone as he goes to get her (with a "team" in tow, although she doubts they'll have much luck finding the turtles). They say "I love you" to each other, over and over again, and every time they sat it Katie cries harder.

By the time her father finally arrives she's curled up on the sidewalk, sobbing.

She sees her mother. She gets to rest in her parents' arms, all of them crying, and for a little while she manages to completely forget what she's discovered about them, what they've done. 

There's a doctor's examination, where they politely ask her if she was injured in any other way or "touched." She tells them no for all of it (the turtles didn't even have visible genitals, she never even considered that they might assault her, although now the possibility chills her blood).

"This is...interesting," the doctor says, examining her stump. "And you woke up like this with no blood, no bandage, nothing?" She nods. "Hmmm. Any idea what they did?"

"I think one of them mentioned a...mantra?" she says, squirming on the examination table.

His eyes light up. "Fascinating. Which one?"

"I don't know," she says, before she can stop herself. "They all look alike." _Why did I do that? Why didn't I describe Leo for them?_

She knows why, of course. If they think Leo has some kind of power (does he? Katie will never know) then they won't be able to resist. They'll try to take Leo, and then the other turtles will take someone else's child for another trade, and then the whole cycle will start again. Only this time, considering the state Raph was in, they won't be nearly so gentle.

Katie supposes that another piece of their humanity has been carved away. This scares her, but if she's not careful she'll also find herself feeling sympathetic.

 _I need to Google Five Ways To Self-Diagnose Stockholm Syndrome when I get home_ , she thinks waggling her fingers and stump. The thought triggers a burst of hysterical laughter, which quickly morphs into nonstop crying. Her father carries her to the car like she's a little girl again, and she falls asleep on the drive home.

It's two weeks before she finally broaches the subject. She spends the time basking in her parents' love as she slowly recovers from the days in captivity. Her parents have asked her to complete the semester from home, and Katie agrees, because she doesn't want to risk breaking down on campus or hearing people talk about her as "that chick who literally got kidnapped by Martians or something."

She leaves the door open when she sleeps. They've set her up for a therapy appointment on Friday.

They're having breakfast, and Katie's still half asleep. She most of last night awake after having yet another nightmare about Leo saying "sorry" before bringing his swords down on her head.

So she blames sleep deprivation for the way the words just slip out of her mouth: "Did you torture him? Their brother?"

Her parents freeze, exchanging shocked looks that make her wonder how they got anywhere in the black-helicopters business. Her father's jaw twitches, at it always when her kidnappers are mentioned (he hasn't found a single turtle, or any of the other people Katie described, and he's still kind of pissed about that).

"Oh, sweetie..." her mother says, reaching across the table to take Katie's intact hand. "I...I don't know what they told you, but they're really just animals. They don't register pain or loss the way people do, even though they act that way. They went to such...lengths to get our subject back just because he was valuable in combat, nothing more."

"They're not animals," Katie says quietly. "They're people. I don't know what kind of people they are, and I want to see them all rot in hell forever, but they're people."

She takes her mother's hand and looks at it thoughtfully, wondering if she held the scalpel that cut out Raph's eyes. She looks at her father, and wonders how much he'd hurt Leo if he ever found him.

On Saturday, her therapist spends a decent chuck of the session calmly interrogating her for whether she felt any "attachment" to her captors. Apparently Katie passed the loyalty test, because next time they manage to start work on the actual healing process.

Katie loves her parents, and she always will, but she knows that she will spend the rest of her life trying her absolutely hardest not to be like them. And she thinks they know it, too, deep down.

Katie moves on, as much as she can. She transfers to a new college and feels grateful that her abduction was pretty hushed up in the media. When people ask, she tells that she lost her finger in a childhood accident. She gets new friends, starts a new life, plans for the future. She starts to close her door just a bit more often, although sometimes she still has to leave it open a crack.

She can't eat lasagna. Bright colors occasionally make her shiver. She'll find herself standing on her campus, staring at girls as they walk by and wondering _Are you April?_ For now, she has to live with that.

She takes a self-defense class, because even if she'll never match something like her former captors she'll at least have a fighting chance against the regular punks on the street. She gets a new therapist. She plans to be home for Christmas, and is excited about seeing her cousin's new baby. 

One night, Katie is studying in her deserted room when she feels eyes watching her. She glances out the window and finds herself looking at a turtle in a tree.

He's muscular and compact, with a bright red bandanna and forklike knives hanging at his hips. Battle scars decorate his body, include a small crack in his chest ( _plastron_ , she remembers). He has two bright green eyes, although the shade of one is slightly off.

Their gazes lock and a painful, messy web of emotions passes between them. Guilt. Shame. Anger. Sympathy. Pain. Sorrow. Confusion. Grief for the innocence they've lost, disappointment at the ugly world they have to live in. Perhaps a touch of forgiveness, for both and from both.

Then Raph vanishes back into the night, as if he was never there. Katie returns to her work.

She doesn't tell anyone about it.

THE END


End file.
